Lyrics After The Ordeal

They called me the Reverend when I entered the Church unstained;
my employers have changed but the name has remained.
It all began when I went on a tour, hoping to find some furniture.
Followed a sign saying "Beautiful Chest",
led to a lady who showed me her best.
She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes.
So she rang the bell, and quick as hell
Bob the Nob came out on his job
to see what the trouble was.
"Louise, is the Reverend hard to please?"
"You're telling me!"
"Perhaps, sir, if its not too late,
we could interest you in our old-fashioned Staffordshire plate?"
"Oh no, not me, I'm a man of repute."
But the Devil caught hold of my soul and a voice called out, "Shoot!"

To save my steeple, I visited people;
for this I had gone when I met Little John.
His name came, I understood,
when the judge said, "You are a robbing hood."
He told me of his strange foundation,
conceived on sight of the Woodstock nation;
he'd had to hide his reputation.
When poor, 'twas salvation from door to door.
But now, with a pin-up guru every week,
it was Love, Peace & Truth Incorporated for all who seek.

He employed me as a karmamechanic, with overal charms.
His hands were then fit to receive, receive alms.