Lyrics Mandy Goes To Med School

I’ve been feeling
Dull as a coat hanger,
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh IV,
Giddy as a gang banger with a set of sutures
Where his Magic Johnson ought to be….

Yes, I’ll tell you just the thing you
Need to be the next big thing.
Let’s stop in with a test of your intelligence and
Zest for the counterproductive
Up and down and roundabout and
Out the back and keep your mouth shut
Tight. The lights are staying out but
No sweat I’ve got aim like a mack truck.
Guess how many fingers. Ok!
Guess how many more I can fit back
Yes, right get the toaster
But you know mis-guessing gets you know where.

I’ve been baking cakes for the enemy.
I’ve been dying to find out the hard way.
I’ve been taking friends to the alleyway.
Two down now but who’s counting anyway.
YES, I can do everything you need
From out of my new SUV.
All my work is guaranteed
To last the length of your recovery.
Put away those pliers, honey, trust me cuz I know the options.
How about a 9 month long vacation and a 2-foot coffin?
I’ve been getting up close and intimate.
Some close calls but we’re getting into it.
In some states they say you can burn for it
But I’ll burn that bridge when I get it.

It’s not a bad thing
To get professional
It has a nice ring
Mandy goes to med school.

I’ve been taking tips from the government.
I’ve been getting damn good at hiding it.
Fifteen bucks a month oughta cover it.
Two down now but who’s gonna notice it?

And if you show up and I am unavailable
My partner Brian would love to take care of you.
He is a nice man.
Thoroughly reliable.
He’s in a rock band.
And he goes to med school.
Oh he goes to med school.
Oh he goes to med school.